Step, step, step... Happy Sunday! Kate came home this weekend! I attended a bridal shower for my cousin Laurie Hart in Bayonne; and Colleen was working in New Jersey this week so she made her way to Pt. Pleasant. So all-&-all, I'd say we had a ball! Ut oh - I had only a little time for my Virgin HealthMiles GoZone steps during this busy weekend, but I learned that "laughing often and much" is as good for our health as stepping!
On Thursday, February 4th, my Harry left for Las Vegas to attend our niece Jennifer Ferguson's wedding. She got married to Ian David Tate and word is a splendid time was had by all! As I mentioned in an earlier blog entry, Scott was supposed to have his BIG All-Shore Concert event on that same Saturday, so I stayed behind in New Jersey to cheer him on. In the end, the concert got cancelled due to a giant snow storm that dumped 18 inches of snow in our front yard and 26 inches of snow in the backyard. If you think that's impressive, my sister Maggie & her husband Paul had 36 inches in Aberdeen, Maryland and Cousin Sheila & Jeff had 5 feet on their deck in Clarksville. Let me warn you, if you try making a Snow Angel in snow that deep, you risk not being seen again until the spring! And I know this for a fact because 25 years ago I made 100 Snow Angels at the Utica, NY home of Katie and Tom Brusgard to honor the birth of their beautiful daughter Jennifer while we celebrated her christening! There had been a blizzard and with 40 guests cheering me on, I almost didn't make it out of their backyard!!! Uncle Chris decided I was crazy that day and the rest - as they say - is history...
Following the daily routine of the Ferguson Family commuting car that takes me to Jersey City and Harry to New York City Monday through Friday is a little bit like watching a clip from "Driving with Miss Daisy." Yes - I admit it: I've got it pretty darn good! My Harry clears a path in the snow for me, heats up the car to a perfect temperature, throws my morning newspapers on the passenger side, stocks up on bottled water so there is no chance of dehydration if we get stuck on a highway and then he gives me the signal that the coast is clear to hop in for our 1 1/2 to 2 hour drive to work.
We then make our way to 7-11 to grab some fresh brewed coffee and the Wall Street Journal and away we go... When we get to Jersey City, he usually pulls the car to the curb (as close to the front of my building as he can get), let's me hop out and then he makes his way to the Parking Garage at the Newport-Pavonia Path Station. After he parks the car, he still has another half hour ahead of him as he makes his way across the Hudson River by ferry or underground tunnel and FINALLY across the Island of Manhattan to get to his NEW & FANTASTIC job at the United Nations, where he manages Website Marketing & Communications for the Global Finance Team at UNICEF.
Something happened this month that helped me realize that it's time to admit that I've been very pampered and spoiled with this unique travel arrangement. Some would say, "I got a little lazy..." I dropped Harry at Newark Airport for his trip to Las Vegas on Thursday, February 4th. The next day - Friday, the 5th - I had to get myself to work! Oh my gosh - by the time I was done doing everything he does for me in Pt. Pleasant and after navigating through 60 miles of those cell phone, texting maniacs and makeup-applying speedsters that nonchalantly run those of us paying attention off the road at every mile marker - I got to work an hour later than usual and a tad disheveled. That night I barreled into Pt. Pleasant at 8:30 p.m. just as the Nor'easter Snow Storm was making its way into town.
When I pulled in the driveway, I decided to take a cue from my neighbor and FRIEND - Ray Pell - by pulling the cars out of the driveway and backing them in so both cars would be close to the road facing outward. When I jumped out of the car, I dropped my briefcase on the lawn; emptied our mailbox and rushed Friday's mail and my favorite local newspaper - The Ocean Star - into the house; I ran back outside, opened the garage and retrieved the snow shovels so they would be within my reach after the big storm... and I thought I was set. I felt remarkably prepared.
For the last 16 days, I've been looking for my briefcase; for the first few days it was actually a frantic search - to say the least - since my work ID, calendar items and my extra reading glasses were all inside! Do you think I'm kidding? When Aunt Mary Gunsiorowski and Aunt Mary Brusgard joined Harry and I at the Dublin House in Red Bank for a quick dinner before Scott's rescheduled All-Shore Concert on Saturday, February 13th, they both had to read the menu to me!!! Today is Sunday, February 21st and I found my eye glasses.
For gosh sakes the briefcase was buried in the snow under our basketball net to the right of the driveway. When the snow melted, the darn thing was exactly where I set it down when I arrived home on THAT Friday - February 5th - when I was in my little frenzy without my Harry to prepare for that darn storm.
No worries - I'm sure my Aunt Marie is smiling down on me today because she would expect nothing less than a story like this from someone who doesn't even know where her water heater is! But to my earlier point: Stop making Snow Angels when the snow exceeds 12 inches OR use a buddy system. We don't want to be finding any cousins on our front lawns in the Spring!
Best regards,
Everybody's Cousin Tish
Score: 16/51
TWO Quotes of the Day: Okay - I admit it: #2 is more appropriate for today's blog entry!
1) “To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”
2) “It is one of the blessings of old friends (and cousins) that you can afford to be stupid with them.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Through a Mom & Dad's Eyes: Children Learn What They Live
Dear Blogosphere Friends,
This is a tough read. It was very hard to write.
Remember a rule in this Health and Wellness Journey is that getting pent-up emotions out is important, so please... bare with me today, as I bow my head to mourn the tragic loss of New Jersey's Little Baby Zara.
While commuting to Jersey City on Wednesday, February 18th, there was no option except to get sick to my stomach as I approached the Alfred E. Driscoll Bridge. The old Garden State Parkway toll booth offices in Sayreville were re-opened for business yesterday. The building was surrounded by at least 20 black detective cars with tinted windows and a large NJ State Police Mobile Crime Unit Lab; a blinking alert sign asking the public to call if we had any information was illuminated overhead. The grim task in front of the selfless heroes inside that facility was to plan out the strategy to locate the tiny lifeless body of a three month old baby who suffered murder-by-drowning in the Raritan River at the hands of her father.
Police say 21-year-old Shamsid-Din Abdur-Raheem, of Galloway, told them he threw his daughter, Zara Malani-lin Abdur, off that bridge on Tuesday after the attempted murder of the child's maternal grandmother whom police say he assaulted in East Orange during the alleged abduction. This brave grandmother was caring for her precious granddaughter. At the time of the abduction, the baby's mother was in a courtroom in Newark, NJ applying for a restraining order against Mr Abdur-Raheem.
Over the last 30 years, I've embraced the broken bodies and injured spirits of women and children who have survived the scourge of brutal domestic abuse and violence. I know - from personal experience - that it is beyond stressful and beyond all civilized experiences to have to watch people you love endure these kinds of horrific circumstances. The painful long-term consequences that often play-out all the days that these victims live is enough to numb your heart.
It takes remarkable courage and resolve to place yourself square-in-the-middle of such danger during any attempt to ensure the survival of those who cannot save themselves from abuse in these corridors of darkness. Like Baby Zara's grandmother, my own mother understood and lived this tenet and truth whenever God called on her to do so... My grandmother's generation - that generation of revered immigrants - succeeded at transferring the knowledge to all of us that when and "If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them" - which gives each child an unyielding strength, a confidence and a shot at happiness that has no bounds.
What could have inspired Shamsid-Din Abdur-Raheem to believe it was actually okay to murder his little girl in the Raritan River on Tuesday? Baby Zara's death is a haunting and sad reminder that I've actually been forced to watch the suffering of beautiful children being dangled from bridges for most of my adult life - not literally speaking of course, but figuratively. When adults in emotional high-drama, high-stake (or low-stake) situations fail to operate, act, or comport themselves in a manner that puts the best interest of their children at the forefront of their thinking, the children lose. In this case, Baby Zara died, but I'm honestly appalled every single time children are left dangling on some hazardess ledge to fend for themselves when a parent is within their reach.
For the record, these abhorent situations laced with rage and revenge don't do anything healthy for all the other people in the world who love their kids - everyone with a view experiences mountains of breathless sorrow that can literally eat their insides out. Do you really think Mr. Shamsid-Din Abdur-Raheem cared about what Baby Zara's grandmother and other relatives would experience for the rest of their lives after he killed her? Unfortunately - people who don't care about the harm they are doing to their own kids are not ever going to care about the damage they are doing to you.
The chances of kids being damaged by the scars inflicted by parental behavior during these dreadful situations go up exponentially when hatred, disdain and/or a lack of maturity rules each day. How come so many people "use their own children" for personal gain, to one-up this or that, or to get back at partners and/or other adults involved in these loops of madness that encompass everything from divorce, busted dreams, infidelities, death, financial failures, family court decisions, substance abuse, unemployment, abuse and beyond... The next chapter has to come, so why doesn't everyone just close the last chapter sooner if doing so means helping kids?
All kids see soooo much through the eyes of both parents, so why doesn't everyone wake up and grow up especially since we already know that Children Learn What They Live. For gosh sakes - Some children die; others resort to self-medicating solutions to block out the pain for the rest of their lives; the weakest ones give up on everyone and everything. If a "Child Lives With Hostility, He Learns To Fight," so isn't that reason enough to stop fighting ten years after some divorce?! Is it too hard to recognize that this chapter of your life isn't about you anymore? Have you forgotten that you're actually the adult responsible for the Health and Wellness of your children?!
My prayer for Baby Zara Malani-lin Abdur is that God arrived armed with love to catch her fall; and that she found comfort in His mighty arms as He swaddled her with His grace. This isn't hard for me to imagine because on earth I've witnessed glorious grandmothers execute this same great work in His name... over and over again.
And when their work was done, selfless aunts, uncles, and cousins would step up and do the same; leading each journey with magnificent efforts that humbled all. Collectively, so many people I love succeeded at giving awesome meaning to the term "Circle-of-Family." With this in mind, I pray for the circle of that family who could not save their little girl. But make no mistake, I have evey faith that God took Baby Zara to heaven and granted her peace before she hit the frigid waters. I knew it and I could feel it in my heart as I drove my car over the Driscoll Bridge on Wednesday.
Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. May we all learn "something" as we view our own lives - for just these few moments - through the beautiful prism and innocence of Baby Zara's big brown eyes. My God - she was just a little baby.
Love to all.
Best regards,
Everybody's Cousin Tish
Score: 16/51
Quote of the Day:
"If A Child Lives With Hatred, He Learns To Hate.
If A Child Lives With Hostility, He Learns To Fight.
For A Fact I Can Tell You, When This Happens - Most Grandmothers Mourn"
- With the help of author Dorothy Law Nolte
This is a tough read. It was very hard to write.
Remember a rule in this Health and Wellness Journey is that getting pent-up emotions out is important, so please... bare with me today, as I bow my head to mourn the tragic loss of New Jersey's Little Baby Zara.
While commuting to Jersey City on Wednesday, February 18th, there was no option except to get sick to my stomach as I approached the Alfred E. Driscoll Bridge. The old Garden State Parkway toll booth offices in Sayreville were re-opened for business yesterday. The building was surrounded by at least 20 black detective cars with tinted windows and a large NJ State Police Mobile Crime Unit Lab; a blinking alert sign asking the public to call if we had any information was illuminated overhead. The grim task in front of the selfless heroes inside that facility was to plan out the strategy to locate the tiny lifeless body of a three month old baby who suffered murder-by-drowning in the Raritan River at the hands of her father.
Police say 21-year-old Shamsid-Din Abdur-Raheem, of Galloway, told them he threw his daughter, Zara Malani-lin Abdur, off that bridge on Tuesday after the attempted murder of the child's maternal grandmother whom police say he assaulted in East Orange during the alleged abduction. This brave grandmother was caring for her precious granddaughter. At the time of the abduction, the baby's mother was in a courtroom in Newark, NJ applying for a restraining order against Mr Abdur-Raheem.
Over the last 30 years, I've embraced the broken bodies and injured spirits of women and children who have survived the scourge of brutal domestic abuse and violence. I know - from personal experience - that it is beyond stressful and beyond all civilized experiences to have to watch people you love endure these kinds of horrific circumstances. The painful long-term consequences that often play-out all the days that these victims live is enough to numb your heart.
It takes remarkable courage and resolve to place yourself square-in-the-middle of such danger during any attempt to ensure the survival of those who cannot save themselves from abuse in these corridors of darkness. Like Baby Zara's grandmother, my own mother understood and lived this tenet and truth whenever God called on her to do so... My grandmother's generation - that generation of revered immigrants - succeeded at transferring the knowledge to all of us that when and "If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them" - which gives each child an unyielding strength, a confidence and a shot at happiness that has no bounds.
What could have inspired Shamsid-Din Abdur-Raheem to believe it was actually okay to murder his little girl in the Raritan River on Tuesday? Baby Zara's death is a haunting and sad reminder that I've actually been forced to watch the suffering of beautiful children being dangled from bridges for most of my adult life - not literally speaking of course, but figuratively. When adults in emotional high-drama, high-stake (or low-stake) situations fail to operate, act, or comport themselves in a manner that puts the best interest of their children at the forefront of their thinking, the children lose. In this case, Baby Zara died, but I'm honestly appalled every single time children are left dangling on some hazardess ledge to fend for themselves when a parent is within their reach.
For the record, these abhorent situations laced with rage and revenge don't do anything healthy for all the other people in the world who love their kids - everyone with a view experiences mountains of breathless sorrow that can literally eat their insides out. Do you really think Mr. Shamsid-Din Abdur-Raheem cared about what Baby Zara's grandmother and other relatives would experience for the rest of their lives after he killed her? Unfortunately - people who don't care about the harm they are doing to their own kids are not ever going to care about the damage they are doing to you.
The chances of kids being damaged by the scars inflicted by parental behavior during these dreadful situations go up exponentially when hatred, disdain and/or a lack of maturity rules each day. How come so many people "use their own children" for personal gain, to one-up this or that, or to get back at partners and/or other adults involved in these loops of madness that encompass everything from divorce, busted dreams, infidelities, death, financial failures, family court decisions, substance abuse, unemployment, abuse and beyond... The next chapter has to come, so why doesn't everyone just close the last chapter sooner if doing so means helping kids?
All kids see soooo much through the eyes of both parents, so why doesn't everyone wake up and grow up especially since we already know that Children Learn What They Live. For gosh sakes - Some children die; others resort to self-medicating solutions to block out the pain for the rest of their lives; the weakest ones give up on everyone and everything. If a "Child Lives With Hostility, He Learns To Fight," so isn't that reason enough to stop fighting ten years after some divorce?! Is it too hard to recognize that this chapter of your life isn't about you anymore? Have you forgotten that you're actually the adult responsible for the Health and Wellness of your children?!
My prayer for Baby Zara Malani-lin Abdur is that God arrived armed with love to catch her fall; and that she found comfort in His mighty arms as He swaddled her with His grace. This isn't hard for me to imagine because on earth I've witnessed glorious grandmothers execute this same great work in His name... over and over again.
And when their work was done, selfless aunts, uncles, and cousins would step up and do the same; leading each journey with magnificent efforts that humbled all. Collectively, so many people I love succeeded at giving awesome meaning to the term "Circle-of-Family." With this in mind, I pray for the circle of that family who could not save their little girl. But make no mistake, I have evey faith that God took Baby Zara to heaven and granted her peace before she hit the frigid waters. I knew it and I could feel it in my heart as I drove my car over the Driscoll Bridge on Wednesday.
Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. May we all learn "something" as we view our own lives - for just these few moments - through the beautiful prism and innocence of Baby Zara's big brown eyes. My God - she was just a little baby.
Love to all.
Best regards,
Everybody's Cousin Tish
Score: 16/51
Quote of the Day:
"If A Child Lives With Hatred, He Learns To Hate.
If A Child Lives With Hostility, He Learns To Fight.
For A Fact I Can Tell You, When This Happens - Most Grandmothers Mourn"
- With the help of author Dorothy Law Nolte
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Ash Wednesday: God Grant Me Serenity...
Step, step, step... today is the first day of the rest of my life. I'm going to make sure the next 40 days make a difference for the next forty years!
1) My Morning Prayer for this Lenten Season will be the Serenity Prayer. My commitment is to recite it daily.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr
2) I will continue my journey to Health & Wellness with renewed & awesome passion.
3) I will summon the strength inside me to close "those" old chapters in my life that have caused unhealthy stress and/or pain.
4) I will not look backward; only forward...
5) I will accept God's will, no matter how difficult the situation.
6) I will help my triglyceride count by eliminating wine and ice cream completely from my diet, (Our friends at Bob Hoffmann's Ice Cream and Gerard's Liquors will not be happy...)
7) I will help my cholesterol count by reducing my red meat intake to no more than twice a week, (Oh gosh - I hope Colonial Ranch Meat Market doesn't go out of business! Have the fire department alert Darren & Lisa Arms!)
8) I will increase my good cholesterol count by eating more foods that feed that number which in my case "must" stay between 50 & 100.
9) I will sit quietly and listen for His voice when I'm struggling to accept something heart wrenching and important that I cannot change.
10) I will contribute to the peace-of-others by not resisting so much when it's time to walk away.
It's okay to scream, "Tish - How are we ever going to miss you, if you never go away?!" I actually had this joke painted on a piece of wood for Aunt Mary Brusgard's 70th Birthday Party. I thought the quote was hysterical when I delivered it during my long-winded monologue as the self-appointed Mistress-of-Ceremonies for this wonderful family celebration at Jack Baker's Lobster Shanty. At age 51, my advice to others is to be wary of revisiting your monologues and one-liners from previous decades. Things that you said which seemed funny then may no longer be funny simply because you're filtering your own words through ten years of new experiences. Oh and finding out an audience may have been laughing at you and not with you back then does nothing for your health and welfare.
I wish everyone serenity and inner-peace this Lenten Season. God bless you all.
Best regards,
Everybody's Cousin Tish
Score: 16/51
Quote of the Day: "I've always known what I needed to do; for reasons I actually understand - I just never cared about myself in the same way that I've cared about others. Convincing myself I was worth it combined with this process of turning my own positive energy inward has brought great joy."
- Kate's Mom, February - 2010
1) My Morning Prayer for this Lenten Season will be the Serenity Prayer. My commitment is to recite it daily.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr
2) I will continue my journey to Health & Wellness with renewed & awesome passion.
3) I will summon the strength inside me to close "those" old chapters in my life that have caused unhealthy stress and/or pain.
4) I will not look backward; only forward...
5) I will accept God's will, no matter how difficult the situation.
6) I will help my triglyceride count by eliminating wine and ice cream completely from my diet, (Our friends at Bob Hoffmann's Ice Cream and Gerard's Liquors will not be happy...)
7) I will help my cholesterol count by reducing my red meat intake to no more than twice a week, (Oh gosh - I hope Colonial Ranch Meat Market doesn't go out of business! Have the fire department alert Darren & Lisa Arms!)
8) I will increase my good cholesterol count by eating more foods that feed that number which in my case "must" stay between 50 & 100.
9) I will sit quietly and listen for His voice when I'm struggling to accept something heart wrenching and important that I cannot change.
10) I will contribute to the peace-of-others by not resisting so much when it's time to walk away.
It's okay to scream, "Tish - How are we ever going to miss you, if you never go away?!" I actually had this joke painted on a piece of wood for Aunt Mary Brusgard's 70th Birthday Party. I thought the quote was hysterical when I delivered it during my long-winded monologue as the self-appointed Mistress-of-Ceremonies for this wonderful family celebration at Jack Baker's Lobster Shanty. At age 51, my advice to others is to be wary of revisiting your monologues and one-liners from previous decades. Things that you said which seemed funny then may no longer be funny simply because you're filtering your own words through ten years of new experiences. Oh and finding out an audience may have been laughing at you and not with you back then does nothing for your health and welfare.
I wish everyone serenity and inner-peace this Lenten Season. God bless you all.
Best regards,
Everybody's Cousin Tish
Score: 16/51
Quote of the Day: "I've always known what I needed to do; for reasons I actually understand - I just never cared about myself in the same way that I've cared about others. Convincing myself I was worth it combined with this process of turning my own positive energy inward has brought great joy."
- Kate's Mom, February - 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Happy Fat Tuesday!!
Step, step, step... Did you have a nice three day President's Weekend? Now are you looking back thinking, "Oh no - I fell off that health wagon for a couple of days to have fun with friends and now what?!"
For about 40 years, I've used the 40 Days of the solemn Lenten Season to focus on doing something good and cleansing for me. Okay - in the early years - Mom and Dad used to turn off the television for 40 days - (no, I'm not kidding and we did not have video games, computers, blackberrys - no mind-numbing distractions to get us through!!).
Every year from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday, my parents worked - by mandate - to motivate me and my seven brothers and sisters to do something that would give us a personal benefit. They would try to encourage us to read books, play games, spend more time interacting with family and friends, become pen pals to cousins in Ireland... "Use our imagination," mom would say. "Do anything you can think of..." because the TV stays off EXCEPT for that one glorious Sunday evening during Lent when we'd get to join the Bratton Family to watch "The Wizard of Oz" on our first new color TV! No video stores in our day kids, so yes - my parent's made this one awesome exception (Thank you, God...) that we were all extremely grateful for!! The first time Dorothy stepped out of her house in OZ after that tornado and the landscape across the screen was in color in our family room, we all literally hugged and screamed for joy!
Aside from vividly remembering our first color TV experience, this amazing requirement in our house represented learning - at a very young age - how to keep a 40 day commitment. In my eyes, we were a strong "Team-of-Ten" making the first group sacrifice of our lives while enjoying the benefit of each other. With this lesson in toe, my four brothers, three sisters and I were prepared to lead on Al Saner Track & Field, basketball courts, in classrooms, on stages, for non-profit causes and in our professional lives. Not one of us could ever say that our parents had not worked hard to try to prepare us for what was ahead as we embarked on our lives one difficult commitment at a time. When we become adults, parents are no longer in the position to shut off our televisions; only we can do that. To honor Mom and Dad - every Lenten Season - "I try" to do something meaningful tied to this important lesson.
In later years, for the 40 days I would commit to a certain exercise routine or eliminate sugar from my tea at the Brusgard house or swear off of a favorite food to help jump-start a health initiative that I'd hope would lead to a behavioral change that would become a long-term benefit managed by little old me.
Since "TishTrek - my 51/51 Challenge" is a journey to Health and Wellness... I'm going to celebrate Fat Tuesday and the start of Lent by taking another step that will enhance this journey! I'm going to up the ante in this challenge... and the drum roll please... I'll let you know what I'm going to commit to tomorrow.
Meaningful periods of reflection and action are woven into the ceremony and tradition of every culture and all religions in every hemisphere. Do something meaningful for yourself this Lenten Season. Sit quiet for a moment or an hour and figure out something you can do more of, or stop, or cut back on which will make a difference in how you feel about yourself and/or others. Do something for the next 40 days or the next 40 years. You won't regret it.
If I can do it, so can you.
Best regards,
Everybody's Cousin Tish
Score: 16/51
Quote of the Day: "If at first you don't succeed, believe in yourself and try again."
- But you knew that already!
For about 40 years, I've used the 40 Days of the solemn Lenten Season to focus on doing something good and cleansing for me. Okay - in the early years - Mom and Dad used to turn off the television for 40 days - (no, I'm not kidding and we did not have video games, computers, blackberrys - no mind-numbing distractions to get us through!!).
Every year from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday, my parents worked - by mandate - to motivate me and my seven brothers and sisters to do something that would give us a personal benefit. They would try to encourage us to read books, play games, spend more time interacting with family and friends, become pen pals to cousins in Ireland... "Use our imagination," mom would say. "Do anything you can think of..." because the TV stays off EXCEPT for that one glorious Sunday evening during Lent when we'd get to join the Bratton Family to watch "The Wizard of Oz" on our first new color TV! No video stores in our day kids, so yes - my parent's made this one awesome exception (Thank you, God...) that we were all extremely grateful for!! The first time Dorothy stepped out of her house in OZ after that tornado and the landscape across the screen was in color in our family room, we all literally hugged and screamed for joy!
Aside from vividly remembering our first color TV experience, this amazing requirement in our house represented learning - at a very young age - how to keep a 40 day commitment. In my eyes, we were a strong "Team-of-Ten" making the first group sacrifice of our lives while enjoying the benefit of each other. With this lesson in toe, my four brothers, three sisters and I were prepared to lead on Al Saner Track & Field, basketball courts, in classrooms, on stages, for non-profit causes and in our professional lives. Not one of us could ever say that our parents had not worked hard to try to prepare us for what was ahead as we embarked on our lives one difficult commitment at a time. When we become adults, parents are no longer in the position to shut off our televisions; only we can do that. To honor Mom and Dad - every Lenten Season - "I try" to do something meaningful tied to this important lesson.
In later years, for the 40 days I would commit to a certain exercise routine or eliminate sugar from my tea at the Brusgard house or swear off of a favorite food to help jump-start a health initiative that I'd hope would lead to a behavioral change that would become a long-term benefit managed by little old me.
Since "TishTrek - my 51/51 Challenge" is a journey to Health and Wellness... I'm going to celebrate Fat Tuesday and the start of Lent by taking another step that will enhance this journey! I'm going to up the ante in this challenge... and the drum roll please... I'll let you know what I'm going to commit to tomorrow.
Meaningful periods of reflection and action are woven into the ceremony and tradition of every culture and all religions in every hemisphere. Do something meaningful for yourself this Lenten Season. Sit quiet for a moment or an hour and figure out something you can do more of, or stop, or cut back on which will make a difference in how you feel about yourself and/or others. Do something for the next 40 days or the next 40 years. You won't regret it.
If I can do it, so can you.
Best regards,
Everybody's Cousin Tish
Score: 16/51
Quote of the Day: "If at first you don't succeed, believe in yourself and try again."
- But you knew that already!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Remember: The Aunts Are Always Right!
Aunt Mary Gunsiorowski is convinced I got Grandma Ceil's story wrong on my last Blog update. I recall researching Bayonne Mobster Boss John DiGilio after Grandma talked about him in 1988 after he was murdered. I remember wondering if any of his friends in high school were able to tell he was headed for a life of crime. Could anyone tell in the early years and/or were there any signs that snuffing out the lives of others would mean nothing to him in his adult life?
Honestly, I could swear mom told me that she dated him a couple of times in her teen years, but Aunt Mary says, "Nope. I have this story wrong!" In Irish families, the Aunts are always right! Aunt Mary insists that Grandma never dated John DeGilio and she would know because she's the little sister! Aunt Mary's recollection is that mom actually beat John DiGilio up for constantly cursing out and harassing other kids in The Alley. This is believable to me because those who knew mom know that she always protected people in her circle like a pit bull if you needed her in your corner or if she recognized you felt threatened.
Well, we'll have to check this story out with Uncle Dan and Uncle John. Maybe they (or someone else from Bayonne...) can weigh in here so we can solve the mystery of this descrepancy... Someone call Patsy Lavan!!
In the meantime, pick whatever version of this story you like best. Okay kids - Grandma Ceil either dated him or beat him up, but we can all agree on one thing: She and lots of her Hudson County friends definitely knew John, who was the oldest of six children in the DiGilio Family. If our tough Bayonne Irish-American mom actually beat up John DiGilio when they were kids, maybe it was actually her - Cecilia Marie Sharkey who inspired John to become a professional boxer before he marched on to his life of crime. You know - like no girl was ever going to beat him up again! Thanks Aunt Mary!! Even I like this story better!!
John was not very tall and stood at 5 foot 7 inches. Eight years before I was born, he won the 1950 New York Daily News Golden Gloves 126lb Sub-Novice Championships by defeating Manuel Vinho of the New York City Department of Parks and Recreation. While a welterweight boxer, he trained at the Bayonne Police Department Police Athletic League. His first professional boxing match was against Tony Loti on October 16, 1950 in Providence, Rhode Island, which he won by knock out. On April 8, 1954 in in Newark, New Jersey he defeated Felix Redondo and was awarded the New Jersey State Lightweight Title. On November 18, 1955 while fighting Tommy Barto at Madison Square Garden in New York, the fight was stopped, but DiGilio was deemed the winner. On June 15, 1956 once again at Madison Square Garden he knocked down Johnny Busso in 1:39 during the 4th round. The fight was eventually stopped due to cuts over DiGilio's eyes. On February 11, 1958 in Miami Beach, Florida DiGilio suffered a beating and was knocked down in the 4th, 5th and 6th rounds. On March 29, 1958 he fought against Stefan Redl Paterson, New Jersey for the New Jersey State Welterweight Championship and lost. In total, DiGilio boxed 231 rounds, won 28 and lost ten, being knocked out by opponents in three. During his boxing career he weighed in between 147 and 154 pounds and although he got heavier after leaving behind a boxing career, he maintained an athletic build with strong muscular defined shoulders and had an aura of self confidence. He was fairly flamboyant in appearance and in the 70's at the height of his success he drove a gold-colored Cadillac.
He was murdered in a Lincoln Continental. For a little guy he sure liked big cars, huh? Whatever the real story, I'm just glad mom didn't ride with this character for too long.
Best regards,
Everybody's Cousin Tish
Score: 16/51
Quote of the Day: "It's not an Irish-American thing, we drink wine to make all of you more interesting!" - Dedicated to all my Irish Cousins
Honestly, I could swear mom told me that she dated him a couple of times in her teen years, but Aunt Mary says, "Nope. I have this story wrong!" In Irish families, the Aunts are always right! Aunt Mary insists that Grandma never dated John DeGilio and she would know because she's the little sister! Aunt Mary's recollection is that mom actually beat John DiGilio up for constantly cursing out and harassing other kids in The Alley. This is believable to me because those who knew mom know that she always protected people in her circle like a pit bull if you needed her in your corner or if she recognized you felt threatened.
Well, we'll have to check this story out with Uncle Dan and Uncle John. Maybe they (or someone else from Bayonne...) can weigh in here so we can solve the mystery of this descrepancy... Someone call Patsy Lavan!!
In the meantime, pick whatever version of this story you like best. Okay kids - Grandma Ceil either dated him or beat him up, but we can all agree on one thing: She and lots of her Hudson County friends definitely knew John, who was the oldest of six children in the DiGilio Family. If our tough Bayonne Irish-American mom actually beat up John DiGilio when they were kids, maybe it was actually her - Cecilia Marie Sharkey who inspired John to become a professional boxer before he marched on to his life of crime. You know - like no girl was ever going to beat him up again! Thanks Aunt Mary!! Even I like this story better!!
John was not very tall and stood at 5 foot 7 inches. Eight years before I was born, he won the 1950 New York Daily News Golden Gloves 126lb Sub-Novice Championships by defeating Manuel Vinho of the New York City Department of Parks and Recreation. While a welterweight boxer, he trained at the Bayonne Police Department Police Athletic League. His first professional boxing match was against Tony Loti on October 16, 1950 in Providence, Rhode Island, which he won by knock out. On April 8, 1954 in in Newark, New Jersey he defeated Felix Redondo and was awarded the New Jersey State Lightweight Title. On November 18, 1955 while fighting Tommy Barto at Madison Square Garden in New York, the fight was stopped, but DiGilio was deemed the winner. On June 15, 1956 once again at Madison Square Garden he knocked down Johnny Busso in 1:39 during the 4th round. The fight was eventually stopped due to cuts over DiGilio's eyes. On February 11, 1958 in Miami Beach, Florida DiGilio suffered a beating and was knocked down in the 4th, 5th and 6th rounds. On March 29, 1958 he fought against Stefan Redl Paterson, New Jersey for the New Jersey State Welterweight Championship and lost. In total, DiGilio boxed 231 rounds, won 28 and lost ten, being knocked out by opponents in three. During his boxing career he weighed in between 147 and 154 pounds and although he got heavier after leaving behind a boxing career, he maintained an athletic build with strong muscular defined shoulders and had an aura of self confidence. He was fairly flamboyant in appearance and in the 70's at the height of his success he drove a gold-colored Cadillac.
He was murdered in a Lincoln Continental. For a little guy he sure liked big cars, huh? Whatever the real story, I'm just glad mom didn't ride with this character for too long.
Best regards,
Everybody's Cousin Tish
Score: 16/51
Quote of the Day: "It's not an Irish-American thing, we drink wine to make all of you more interesting!" - Dedicated to all my Irish Cousins
Saturday, February 13, 2010
The Soprano's vs MTV's Jersey Shore?
Okay - I'm back on the beam!! I logged over 7,000 steps on my Virgin HealthMiles GoZone Monitor this morning! Went to Ocean Family Care for my blood pressure and weight check-in and all is good! :)
There has been a lot of buzz about MTV's Jersey Shore which was filmed to the chagrin of many Italian-Americans. I live in Pt. Pleasant and the house they filmed last season in is a mere eight miles from our home in Seaside, NJ! Fa-get-about-it because the beach scene being depicted by The Situation, Snooki, Pauly D and the rest of those muscle-heads is not the Jersey Shore we know.
If you were watching the 11 p.m. Channel 4 Newscast last night - MTV's Jersey Shore house made the news again!! There was a Sweet 16 party thrown by another over-the-top, over-indulgent, but well meaning local mom (No offense to this mom because it takes one to spot one!). This woman beat me to it and rented MTV's house for her daughter who attends Pt. Pleasant Borough High School and yes - the tall, handsome dancing man cutting up the rug with friends on television was none other than our Scott Ferguson!!
Think about it: It means we too could rent this house to celebrate Kate's NEW Jersey Girl Blog (katecferg.blogspot.com) or have a wild canoli party for Aunt Nonnie's 85th birthday party! Her 85th is still a couple of years away but - rumor has it - that's how long it will take to raise the funds to rent this place!!!
Speaking of funds, I hear the MTV cast have until close of business today to agree to $10,000.00 per episode for reading laugh lines that go something like "Question: What's an innuendo? Answer: An Italian suppository." or they will all be replaced!
Hey, I could recite those scripts! 35 more pounds and some baby oil and maybe I'll get discovered for an upcoming season in a casting call. I can go riding in on a disco ball, bring back my 1980's big hair, apply some good freckle remover, call in my girls from Rutgers, (Karenola, Suzanne and Linda - Grab the Grease album and let's shake IT again!). Afterall, John Gandolfini from the Sopranos used to eat in the same Cook College Cafeteria with us!
Finally, when they find out that Kate and Scott's Grandma Ceil actually dated La Cosa Nostra mobster John DiGilio when she was in high school - I'll be a shoo-in, right? DiGilio, was born December 5th, 1932 to first generation Italian-American immigrants. John Joseph DiGilio Sr. a.k.a. "Johnny Dee", was a New Jersey mobster with the Genovese crime family who became a powerful organized crime leader in New Jersey. He was also called the the Bayonne Boss of Hudson County.
DiGilio became involved in and eventually the boss of illegal gambling, loansharking, labor racketeering and extortion in the Genovese crime family. In the mid-1970s, Digilio took control of International Longshoremen's Association Local 1588 in Bayonne, New Jersey, which had been under Genovese control since the 1960s. Digilio used his position to extort payments from shipping companies in exchange for smooth labor relations. In 1986, Fortune Magazine named DiGilio as number 39 on its list of the 50 biggest and most powerful Cosa Nostra bosses in the United States. My mother dated him before he became this famous!
Louis Auricchio, formerly of Holmdel, was a Genovese crime family soldier looking to increase his power at the time that DiGilio’s body was found floating in the Hackensack River on May 26, 1988. When my mom read in the Newark Star Ledger that he had been killed, she stopped and recalled a nice young man from the early years. It's amazing how close we can be to danger or dangerous people/families without even picking up a clue. What was written about him seemed unbelievable to say the least. DiGilio had been shot five times in the head and had been missing for three weeks. In March 1994, Auricchio pleaded guilty to first-degree state charges of aggravated manslaughter and racketeering.
Auricchio admitted that he conspired with other members of the crime organization to kill DiGilio. He said he shot DiGilio several times in the back of the head with a .38 caliber handgun from the back seat of his own black Lincoln Continental, driven by George Weingartner, a former Bayonne police officer.
Honestly, I don't love how the communities lining the Atlantic Ocean are being portrayed on MTV's Jersey Shore, but I was surprised that so many Italian-Americans got so vocal and so up in arms over this show. How come we heard so little from them during The Soprano's reign?
Think about it: The Soprano's versus Jersey Shore? Are you more offended by a foul-mouthed snapshot of real people who live or lived in the Italian-American community (like John DiGilio) who chose to embrace a life of organized crime laced with murder which made them lots of money while bringing shame to their heritage and families? Or are you more offended by seeing very tan egotistical twenty-somethings with raging hormones and a very 'distinct' dialect looking for action? This answer is easy.
Snooki, and Pauly D are a light-hearted gift to their heritage when compared to Tony Soprano and Italian- American's like the late John DeGilio. Put on the Irish Channel if you don't like the show.
Best regards,
Everybody's Cousin Tish
Score: 16/51
Quote of the Day: "A four-letter Italian word for good-bye...BANG" - Archie Bunker
There has been a lot of buzz about MTV's Jersey Shore which was filmed to the chagrin of many Italian-Americans. I live in Pt. Pleasant and the house they filmed last season in is a mere eight miles from our home in Seaside, NJ! Fa-get-about-it because the beach scene being depicted by The Situation, Snooki, Pauly D and the rest of those muscle-heads is not the Jersey Shore we know.
If you were watching the 11 p.m. Channel 4 Newscast last night - MTV's Jersey Shore house made the news again!! There was a Sweet 16 party thrown by another over-the-top, over-indulgent, but well meaning local mom (No offense to this mom because it takes one to spot one!). This woman beat me to it and rented MTV's house for her daughter who attends Pt. Pleasant Borough High School and yes - the tall, handsome dancing man cutting up the rug with friends on television was none other than our Scott Ferguson!!
Think about it: It means we too could rent this house to celebrate Kate's NEW Jersey Girl Blog (katecferg.blogspot.com) or have a wild canoli party for Aunt Nonnie's 85th birthday party! Her 85th is still a couple of years away but - rumor has it - that's how long it will take to raise the funds to rent this place!!!
Speaking of funds, I hear the MTV cast have until close of business today to agree to $10,000.00 per episode for reading laugh lines that go something like "Question: What's an innuendo? Answer: An Italian suppository." or they will all be replaced!
Hey, I could recite those scripts! 35 more pounds and some baby oil and maybe I'll get discovered for an upcoming season in a casting call. I can go riding in on a disco ball, bring back my 1980's big hair, apply some good freckle remover, call in my girls from Rutgers, (Karenola, Suzanne and Linda - Grab the Grease album and let's shake IT again!). Afterall, John Gandolfini from the Sopranos used to eat in the same Cook College Cafeteria with us!
Finally, when they find out that Kate and Scott's Grandma Ceil actually dated La Cosa Nostra mobster John DiGilio when she was in high school - I'll be a shoo-in, right? DiGilio, was born December 5th, 1932 to first generation Italian-American immigrants. John Joseph DiGilio Sr. a.k.a. "Johnny Dee", was a New Jersey mobster with the Genovese crime family who became a powerful organized crime leader in New Jersey. He was also called the the Bayonne Boss of Hudson County.
DiGilio became involved in and eventually the boss of illegal gambling, loansharking, labor racketeering and extortion in the Genovese crime family. In the mid-1970s, Digilio took control of International Longshoremen's Association Local 1588 in Bayonne, New Jersey, which had been under Genovese control since the 1960s. Digilio used his position to extort payments from shipping companies in exchange for smooth labor relations. In 1986, Fortune Magazine named DiGilio as number 39 on its list of the 50 biggest and most powerful Cosa Nostra bosses in the United States. My mother dated him before he became this famous!
Louis Auricchio, formerly of Holmdel, was a Genovese crime family soldier looking to increase his power at the time that DiGilio’s body was found floating in the Hackensack River on May 26, 1988. When my mom read in the Newark Star Ledger that he had been killed, she stopped and recalled a nice young man from the early years. It's amazing how close we can be to danger or dangerous people/families without even picking up a clue. What was written about him seemed unbelievable to say the least. DiGilio had been shot five times in the head and had been missing for three weeks. In March 1994, Auricchio pleaded guilty to first-degree state charges of aggravated manslaughter and racketeering.
Auricchio admitted that he conspired with other members of the crime organization to kill DiGilio. He said he shot DiGilio several times in the back of the head with a .38 caliber handgun from the back seat of his own black Lincoln Continental, driven by George Weingartner, a former Bayonne police officer.
Honestly, I don't love how the communities lining the Atlantic Ocean are being portrayed on MTV's Jersey Shore, but I was surprised that so many Italian-Americans got so vocal and so up in arms over this show. How come we heard so little from them during The Soprano's reign?
Think about it: The Soprano's versus Jersey Shore? Are you more offended by a foul-mouthed snapshot of real people who live or lived in the Italian-American community (like John DiGilio) who chose to embrace a life of organized crime laced with murder which made them lots of money while bringing shame to their heritage and families? Or are you more offended by seeing very tan egotistical twenty-somethings with raging hormones and a very 'distinct' dialect looking for action? This answer is easy.
Snooki, and Pauly D are a light-hearted gift to their heritage when compared to Tony Soprano and Italian- American's like the late John DeGilio. Put on the Irish Channel if you don't like the show.
Best regards,
Everybody's Cousin Tish
Score: 16/51
Quote of the Day: "A four-letter Italian word for good-bye...BANG" - Archie Bunker
Friday, February 12, 2010
Kate's Blogging Her Way to NYC: katecferg.blogspot.com
I dedicate today's Blog to my daughter - Kate Cecilia Ferguson - who will turn 21 years old on April 20th and who will graduate from The Ohio State University on Sunday, June 13th! The second quarter of 2010 belongs to Kate! It is a glorious time in our family's life...
Kate and I went to see the movie "Julie and Julia" together last year. It turned out to be one of those mom & daughter days that I know we will always remember. Kate used this film to introduce her technically-challenged mom (who is a lover of composition & content) to the worldwide Blogosphere! My Kate and this movie motivated me to start "TishTrek - My 51/51 Challenge"!
Kate was obviously inspired by this experience too. This week she started her very own writing journey which has sent me right over the moon with pride! "She has Grandma Ceil's gift!!" I screamed out yesterday!
Go to: katecferg.blogspot.com
It is a fantastic read about our Jersey Girl who is preparing herself to take on New York City and the WORLD!! Go Kate! Go!
Best regards,
Everybody's Cousin Tish
Score: Kate wins!
Kate and I went to see the movie "Julie and Julia" together last year. It turned out to be one of those mom & daughter days that I know we will always remember. Kate used this film to introduce her technically-challenged mom (who is a lover of composition & content) to the worldwide Blogosphere! My Kate and this movie motivated me to start "TishTrek - My 51/51 Challenge"!
Kate was obviously inspired by this experience too. This week she started her very own writing journey which has sent me right over the moon with pride! "She has Grandma Ceil's gift!!" I screamed out yesterday!
Go to: katecferg.blogspot.com
It is a fantastic read about our Jersey Girl who is preparing herself to take on New York City and the WORLD!! Go Kate! Go!
Best regards,
Everybody's Cousin Tish
Score: Kate wins!
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