Celebrating 'The Leader of Our Band' ~John Conaghan's 90th St. Patrick's Day!

~The Leader of Our Band ~

"I thank you for the music

And your stories of the road"

John and Nadine Conaghan 

67th Wedding Anniversary 

Married March 13th, 1948

Irish Fiddler and wood carving master 'Tis Himself' John Conaghan of Point Pleasant NJ is my second cousin. This week he's in a rehabilitation center celebrating his 90th St. Patrick's Day at the same time he and his wife Aunt Nonnie (Lipsio) Conaghan are celebrating their 67th Wedding Anniversary, (Wedding Date:  March 13th, 1948!).     

The Irish eyes of our family are smiling with great joy because Uncle John's passion for music, art, singing and hand-crafted instruments has kept us inspired as we've worked tirelessly to build our lives in America.

Our family's history in the United States was launched by brave and strong people during difficult times. 'Uncle John,' which is how we address him, is my mom's eldest first cousin who traveled across the Atlantic Ocean at the age of 5.  

He left his home in Donegal Ireland and arrived in New York on a ship that sailed from Dublin. He accompanied his mom - the extraordinary Grace (Cecily/Boner) Conaghan - and baby sister, Cecilia (Mellett). They joined Grace's sisters in Hudson County NJ - my maternal grandmother, Margaret Cecily Sharkey, and great aunt, Mary Cecily Stroh.

These three courageous Cecily/Boner sisters were the daughters of Dominick (1862-1952) and Cecily Boner (1877-1956) of Leffin, Burtonport - County Donegal. Yes - Ireland's Soccer Legend 'Packie' Bonner is their great-nephew and another cousin!

In the Land of Opportunity, John's mom and dad made their home in Bayonne, NJ.

We now find ourselves one hundred and eighty-nine first and second cousins down this road and our beloved patriarch and his beautiful wife - a dedicated nurse for 50-plus years - continue to teach lessons executed "by example."  

We learned the meaning of courage, hard work, loyalty, friendship and respect for others because Uncle John and Aunt Nonnie still live these tenets to this very day.

The true meaning of "To have and to hold from this day forward… for better, for worse; in sickness and in health" was the foundation for their partnership and it is the loving time-bound promise to each other still on display today. 

Their relationship and Uncle John's music served as a kind of glue in the lives of many. I know because this glorious second cousin and his Nonnie became two of my very best friends. 

All I ever have to do is sit in their living room and I'm comforted and embraced by the ceremony and tradition that is our family.  An unconditional moment does not get better than this.

The oldest of nine children, Uncle John enlisted in the U.S. Navy in his late teens. This proud veteran of World War II served part of his tour on board the U.S.S. Tillman DD# 641. It was a remarkable journey that took him around the world and trained him in many trades as he fought for freedom on behalf of his adopted homeland.

He shared these stories with us often because his love for America and the opportunity She gave him and our family was never lost on him. 

We turned out in force along the parade route a few years ago when Point Pleasant honored him as a Grand Marshal on Memorial Day. They celebrated his service and commitment to country. As he waved to the crowds from the backseat of a little blue car, it was his smile that made us dance with pride.

Uncle John was a former Sand-Hog who helped dig and build several of the traffic tunnels leading in and out of New York City. He was in the housing and construction business for over 40 years.

When he retired from that, he transferred his great skills and many gifts to his "First Love" - music and instrument building!  

Over the past 24 years, he has hand-carved over 75 fiddles and other instruments. Since he was five years old, he has taught himself how to play every musical instrument that ever interested him.

"He earned his love through discipline
A thundering, velvet hand
His gentle means of sculpting souls
Took me years to understand"

The hand-crafted Bodhram (Irish single-skin cylindrical drum) made just for me and signed by him in 2009 is the reminder that will keep the beat that is his music at my back for the rest of my life.   

He has been recognized from one end of New Jersey to the other as a 'Man of Excellence.' He and his sons, Michael and Patrick Conaghan, formed an Irish band in the early years and they've been delighting audiences and generations of our family at festivals ever since.  

The band played on and 'our' Fiddler shined to the delight of new friends during a visit to the hospital just last week.

We learned from watching Uncle John that a positive attitude was clearly "the key" if you expected to scale and/or beat challenges ranging from the worst-of-times to life-threatening illnesses. Because of him our whole family can tell you that anything is actually possible. 

His greatest lessons were the ones he lived including: No matter what's happening, try to live with the music of a fiddler in your heart! Become a fan of someone or something and watch how your own passion propels your life forward! 

In 1963, Uncle John was 40-years old when cancer struck, he had four children at home (Michael, Maureen, Patrick and Kathy) and was told he had six months to live.

At age 75, new illness hit; it was 1998 and there was no chance he'd make it home from the hospital.

At age 86, we were witness to another miracle as he played the fiddle he had just 'hand-carved' to celebrate St. Patrick's Day and his latest recovery!

Uncle John once told me that when he sang on the radio in Jersey City at age 7, he was too young to realize that "once artists use their gifts to lift the hearts of others, the musician's blessing lasts a lifetime."  

A few years ago, he told me he knew that playing his fiddles and violins often placed him close to the face of God and that he was grateful for that.    

We celebrated Uncle John's 90th birthday on Christmas Day and signs of a slowdown were caught in the glow of the lights that decorated our family tree. 

Last week, my hero - my Uncle John - fell while walking across a room. Despite a broken femur and the surgery that saved it, all he wanted was his fiddle.  

This week when I visited him to congratulate him on his 90th St. Patrick's Day and to wish him a Happy 67th Wedding Anniversay, he didn't know who I was... 

Then he smiled back, picked up his home-made four-stringed instrument and a slender stick with horsehairs and played the most incredible song I ever heard.

“The Leader of the band is tired

And his eyes are growing old

But his blood runs through my instrument

And his song is in my soul”

Dan Fogelberg – ‘The Leader of the Band’

~Amen~