Celebrating 'The Leader of Our Band' ~John Conaghan's 90th St. Patrick's Day!

~The Leader of Our Band ~

"I thank you for the music

And your stories of the road"

John and Nadine Conaghan 

67th Wedding Anniversary 

Married March 13th, 1948

Irish Fiddler and wood carving master 'Tis Himself' John Conaghan of Point Pleasant NJ is my second cousin. This week he's in a rehabilitation center celebrating his 90th St. Patrick's Day at the same time he and his wife Aunt Nonnie (Lipsio) Conaghan are celebrating their 67th Wedding Anniversary, (Wedding Date:  March 13th, 1948!).     

The Irish eyes of our family are smiling with great joy because Uncle John's passion for music, art, singing and hand-crafted instruments has kept us inspired as we've worked tirelessly to build our lives in America.

Our family's history in the United States was launched by brave and strong people during difficult times. 'Uncle John,' which is how we address him, is my mom's eldest first cousin who traveled across the Atlantic Ocean at the age of 5.  

He left his home in Donegal Ireland and arrived in New York on a ship that sailed from Dublin. He accompanied his mom - the extraordinary Grace (Cecily/Boner) Conaghan - and baby sister, Cecilia (Mellett). They joined Grace's sisters in Hudson County NJ - my maternal grandmother, Margaret Cecily Sharkey, and great aunt, Mary Cecily Stroh.

These three courageous Cecily/Boner sisters were the daughters of Dominick (1862-1952) and Cecily Boner (1877-1956) of Leffin, Burtonport - County Donegal. Yes - Ireland's Soccer Legend 'Packie' Bonner is their great-nephew and another cousin!

In the Land of Opportunity, John's mom and dad made their home in Bayonne, NJ.

We now find ourselves one hundred and eighty-nine first and second cousins down this road and our beloved patriarch and his beautiful wife - a dedicated nurse for 50-plus years - continue to teach lessons executed "by example."  

We learned the meaning of courage, hard work, loyalty, friendship and respect for others because Uncle John and Aunt Nonnie still live these tenets to this very day.

The true meaning of "To have and to hold from this day forward… for better, for worse; in sickness and in health" was the foundation for their partnership and it is the loving time-bound promise to each other still on display today. 

Their relationship and Uncle John's music served as a kind of glue in the lives of many. I know because this glorious second cousin and his Nonnie became two of my very best friends. 

All I ever have to do is sit in their living room and I'm comforted and embraced by the ceremony and tradition that is our family.  An unconditional moment does not get better than this.

The oldest of nine children, Uncle John enlisted in the U.S. Navy in his late teens. This proud veteran of World War II served part of his tour on board the U.S.S. Tillman DD# 641. It was a remarkable journey that took him around the world and trained him in many trades as he fought for freedom on behalf of his adopted homeland.

He shared these stories with us often because his love for America and the opportunity She gave him and our family was never lost on him. 

We turned out in force along the parade route a few years ago when Point Pleasant honored him as a Grand Marshal on Memorial Day. They celebrated his service and commitment to country. As he waved to the crowds from the backseat of a little blue car, it was his smile that made us dance with pride.

Uncle John was a former Sand-Hog who helped dig and build several of the traffic tunnels leading in and out of New York City. He was in the housing and construction business for over 40 years.

When he retired from that, he transferred his great skills and many gifts to his "First Love" - music and instrument building!  

Over the past 24 years, he has hand-carved over 75 fiddles and other instruments. Since he was five years old, he has taught himself how to play every musical instrument that ever interested him.

"He earned his love through discipline
A thundering, velvet hand
His gentle means of sculpting souls
Took me years to understand"

The hand-crafted Bodhram (Irish single-skin cylindrical drum) made just for me and signed by him in 2009 is the reminder that will keep the beat that is his music at my back for the rest of my life.   

He has been recognized from one end of New Jersey to the other as a 'Man of Excellence.' He and his sons, Michael and Patrick Conaghan, formed an Irish band in the early years and they've been delighting audiences and generations of our family at festivals ever since.  

The band played on and 'our' Fiddler shined to the delight of new friends during a visit to the hospital just last week.

We learned from watching Uncle John that a positive attitude was clearly "the key" if you expected to scale and/or beat challenges ranging from the worst-of-times to life-threatening illnesses. Because of him our whole family can tell you that anything is actually possible. 

His greatest lessons were the ones he lived including: No matter what's happening, try to live with the music of a fiddler in your heart! Become a fan of someone or something and watch how your own passion propels your life forward! 

In 1963, Uncle John was 40-years old when cancer struck, he had four children at home (Michael, Maureen, Patrick and Kathy) and was told he had six months to live.

At age 75, new illness hit; it was 1998 and there was no chance he'd make it home from the hospital.

At age 86, we were witness to another miracle as he played the fiddle he had just 'hand-carved' to celebrate St. Patrick's Day and his latest recovery!

Uncle John once told me that when he sang on the radio in Jersey City at age 7, he was too young to realize that "once artists use their gifts to lift the hearts of others, the musician's blessing lasts a lifetime."  

A few years ago, he told me he knew that playing his fiddles and violins often placed him close to the face of God and that he was grateful for that.    

We celebrated Uncle John's 90th birthday on Christmas Day and signs of a slowdown were caught in the glow of the lights that decorated our family tree. 

Last week, my hero - my Uncle John - fell while walking across a room. Despite a broken femur and the surgery that saved it, all he wanted was his fiddle.  

This week when I visited him to congratulate him on his 90th St. Patrick's Day and to wish him a Happy 67th Wedding Anniversay, he didn't know who I was... 

Then he smiled back, picked up his home-made four-stringed instrument and a slender stick with horsehairs and played the most incredible song I ever heard.

“The Leader of the band is tired

And his eyes are growing old

But his blood runs through my instrument

And his song is in my soul”

Dan Fogelberg – ‘The Leader of the Band’

~Amen~

Women's History Month: Happy Birthday to Soraya Lamilla (March 11th, 1969 - May 10th, 2006)

In my little town I grew up 'believing' because incredible people - like Soraya Lamilla - were always within my reach to watch.  

Soraya Raquel Lamilla Cuevas was born on March 11th, 1969 at Point Pleasant Hospital and passed away in Miami on May 10th, 2006. 

To celebrate Women's History Month it's an honor to share Soraya's story and her legacy. She was a creative and intelligent young woman whose passion for music, poetry and breast cancer awareness made a difference in the lives of others across the globe.

Soraya, who used only her first name during her career, succumbed to breast cancer at the age of 37. Upon her death, Gannett Newspapers and the Asbury Park Press wrote, “Soraya stood out at Point Borough and around the world.”  

She was a remarkable woman with many gifts and a purpose.  She was Point  Borough High School's 1987 Valedictorian. And if you followed her brilliant short life, you knew something magical and special embraced this gifted child who transformed before our eyes into one of the most beautiful women on the planet. 

Many students call me "Mrs. Ferg" in the halls of the Loren D. Donley Center For The Performing Arts at the Borough High School. Teenage performers like Soraya always managed to leave wonderful moments and performance details etched in the hearts and minds of local fans like me. 

With joy, I've yelled "Bravo" since 1973 to make my point everytime the echo of magnificent voices inside this auditorium moves me to my feet. Soraya was no exception - her talent and the eclectic mix in her awesome repertoire fascinated me at every turn.

As a child, 'our town's' gorgeous American daughter of Lebanese immigrants from Colombia travelled from her Point Borough home to Cali, Colombia - her family's hometown - so her earliest musical influences included a mixture of Colombian folk and pop, as well as American artists such as Carole King and Fleetwood Mac. 

"Our" Soraya sang and wrote flawlessly in Spanish and English and we loved it!  She shined on the stage in front of local audiences who adored her; when she travelled across the Route 35 Bridge on her way to Rutgers University with determination and many goals, the good wishes of our community went with her. 

She graduated from Rutgers with a dual degree in English literature and French philosophy. Each success was followed by a new success leaving her local fans pleased.

Our hometown gal played at coffee houses across New Jersey before giants in the music industry discovered what we - her local fans - already knew. The caliber of her talent was absolutely incredible! They signed her and her introduction to the entire world began. Beyond her striking silhouette, none of us saw the dark shadow that would steal her from us during the second act of her young adult life.

By age 31 - when the first diagnosis of cancer arrived - she had already scored No. 1 hits all over Latin America and Europe. Soraya enjoyed sold-out shows worldwide, working with Rod Argent and Carole King, touring with Sting, Michael Bolton, Natalie Merchant and Zucchero, and recorded duets with Japanese multimedia artist Ryuichi Sakamoto, German singer Erkan Aki and Arab superstar Andy. 

Every time I caught a news clip of Soraya's achievements, from deep within I rejoiced with a quiet "You go, girl!" When she beat her cancer into remission, I cheered, "You go, girl!" again.

When she was inducted into the 2000 Alumni Hall of Fame by The Point Pleasant Foundation for Excellence in Education - the local standing ovation welcomed her home!   

In 1996, Soraya was voted MTV Latino Best Video by a Female Artist for “De Repente.” Dozens of other awards followed. This global and Ocean County recording star and Latin Grammy winner used her fame to become an influential spokesperson for the Susan G. Komen Foundation, the National Institute of Health, Cancer Cares, and other organizations dedicated to education and awareness of breast cancer around the globe.

None of us could have imagined that she would become one of the most recognized voices in the Latino music world, who also volunteered to become “The Voice” in the international Hispanic community in the fight against a disease that had already taken the life of her mother, aunt and grandmother. The title song of her first album, 1996's "En Esta Noche/On Nights Like This," was a tribute to her mom's struggle.

If this disease ever touched the life of someone in your first circle, then you can only imagine what the outreach of this sensational international mega-star meant to women and families in small villages and communities throughout the world.  In 2004, she was poignantly honored by Billboard Magazine with its Spirit of Hope Award. 

Nothing could stop the rhythm of Soraya's movement against breast cancer.  It didn't matter where she was performing because her enchanting voice represented a 'common language' that was understood by people who spoke any language in any room. The content of her outbound messages helped victims of this disease survive and helped families cope.

Before she died, she courageously wrote, "My physical history may come to an end, but I am sure that the one that exists in your hearts will be present for all eternity. I'm confident that my existence will leave a footprint in your lives and benefit many women in the future." 

All these years later and Mrs. Ferg is still applauding as the refrain from my soul screams out, "Bravo Soraya!  Well done Sweetheart - the intensity of your indelible footprint still lives on in the hearts of millions - including mine!"

Soraya's commitment to this cause that found her was extraordinary. It was as if she was holding the guitar her parents gave her at age 5 and the violin she loved to play as she created the perfect pitch and a tempo all her own to write this to fans - including me - the day before she died:

“I have not lost this battle, because I know the fight was not in vain. Instead it will help end a larger battle, which is early detection to prevent this terrible disease.”  

In celebration of Women's History Month, I'm proud to honor Soraya Lamilla - our beloved poetic artist and musician - who lit up the stage at the Loren D. Donley Performing Arts Center during her teen years and went on to shine her own special light on the world.  She educated others about the disease that took her life; and she leveraged her amazing voice to speak a common language for the benefit of women everywhere.